“The bigger the problem you’re facing, the bigger your destiny. The enemy would not be fighting you so hard unless he knew God had something amazing in your future.
” -Joel Osteen
My best blogging moments come to me late at night when I should be sound asleep. After a busy day at work or tending to my 5 year old, late at night is when I do most of my thinking. It can be rather annoying at times because all I really want to do is lay my precious little head on my pillow and fall fast sleep. Yeah right, like that ever happens!! I was on facebook today and saw this quote from the amazing Joel Osteen and I thought to myself what an awesome quote!
I have faced some problems in my life which have questioned my direction and destiny. There are so many things I want for myself and my daughter that sometimes it almost seems impossible to accomplish. The enemy needs to back off a bit and let me have my chance in all things amazing for once. I look back on my life and noticed how I do things a little backwards. The traditional way is known as getting married then have a baby, but I do the complete opposite which nowadays is publicly acceptable to some people. To set the record straight I wouldn’t have it any other way because Alexis is the most amazing little girl that has ever happened to me. I am truly blessed.
Since my relationship with her dad ended centuries ago (exaggerating tone) I have dated and kissed a few frogs, but none have ever been good enough to turn into my prince, let me re-phrase, good enough to be my KING because who wants a prince?!
It is totally fine because I have 3 years left to find my king before I enter panic mode and convince myself I ‘ll be old and wrinkly without a marriage to prove happy endings do exist. I’ll say this again, the enemy needs to check out of my life for a bit. Every human being in this world all experience their own inner battles with themselves and it doesn’t matter WHO they are!!! At the end of the day we all wish we tried a little harder.
My life events happen for a reason and I need to continue to have my faith in knowing that I am headed in the right direction. It may not make sence at the moment, but I know my destiny will be grand! So as the amazing Joel Osteen quoted I will continue to believe that He has great things in store for me ahead and to continue to live my life to the fullest and not let anyone or anything keep me from my destiny or bring me down. Goodnight.
” It’s easier to gain the weight, than lose the weight Chris”
My dad used to tell me that when I would endulge in a big mac from Mcdonald’s. I would look at him like he was crazy and thought he didn’t know what he was talking about. At that time I weighed about 125lbs and didn’t have a care in the world. When I graduated from highschool I gained 10lbs, which was not a big deal. My struggle with weight started after I had my daughter. I breast fed for about a month and got down to 147lbs. Little did I know that I needed to change my eating habits and increase my activity. I still ate what I wanted and rarely exercised. Within these past 5 years my weight has fluctuated between 147-165. I personally feel like it is time to get below 147 and get rid of these unwanted fat cells that has annoyingly stayed with me. I have done some research about weight loss and i am TOTALLY confused about what I need to do to reach my goal. I’ve tried the latest diets from pills to NO carbs and have realized that I love my breads too much to give it up and my anxiety does not mix well with diet pills.
I know the key to loose weight is eat small meals through out the day and increase activity. Easier said than done especially when food is my comfort drug. I recently bought a treadmill and I have used it about 5 times. I plan to use it till the thing falls apart, but what I want to know more about is what to eat and when to eat it. It’s like a Chemistry formula I can’t figure out (Note to readers: I HATED
My friends are great and always say the nicest things, but I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin and I need to do something about it. It’s frustrating when my clothes don’t fit right and I REFUSE to buy new clothes until I lose 30 lbs.
I’ve noticed a change in my daughter’s behavior and did a little research online. I decided to make a responsibility chart for my 5 year old and here is the finished product. I managed to find everything I needed at the Dollar Store. With a little imagination I came up with a fairy princess theme and I am very proud of my chart.
Today has been a very good day. Our morning started off with pancakes,orange juice, and brewed Starbucks coffee for mommy. I was able to do some cleaning and relax. We met up with my mom to get my daughter’s antibiotics and went to lunch. Prior to our delicious Subway sandwhich I as a mother went through what should of been over at age 3. What is it you may ask?! TEMPER TANTRUM at 5!!! It started in the dressing room when I was trying on this really cute shirt. Not only was my 5 year old messing with the door knob and trying to unlock it she was also talking back and being very unpleasant. Being the only parent to discipline children can be difficult at times because I often wonder if what I am doing will teach her to be a respectable person in her adult years. It amazes me the things she says because I wonder where in the world she got that from. After a short while she calmed down and was back to my sweet , loveable, baby girl. I decided to look at the side effects of the antibiotics she was taking and sure enough one of the side effects was MOOD CHANGE! I never knew antibiotics could cause that kind of side effect, but you just never know with medication. I am back home now and my little princess is snug as a bug in her bed taking a nap.
This whole week was a struggle for me and now that it is Friday, I can honestly sit back and reflect on the events that lead to my struggle to get through each day. Monday started off alright to say the least, but as the day progressed I started to feel those annoying hormones reach an ultimate high. As women we all experience those PMS moments, but I experience what is known as Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder and these are the symptoms:
- Very depressed mood, feeling hopeless
- Marked anxiety, tension, edginess
- Sudden mood shifts (crying easily, extreme sensitivity)
- Persistent, marked irritability, anger, increased conflicts
- Loss of interest in usual activities (work, school, socializing, etc.)
- Difficulty concentrating and staying focused
- Fatigue, tiredness, loss of energy
- Marked appetite change, overeating, food cravings
- Insomnia (difficulty sleeping) or sleeping too much
- Feeling out of control or overwhelmed
- Physical symptoms such as weight gain, bloating, breast tenderness or swelling, headache, and muscle or joint aches and pains
* from Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision, 2000, with permission from the American Psychiatric Association
Each month I go through at least half of the symptoms listed above and before I was diagnosed I felt that I had PMS like every other female in the world. As I grew older and became a mother the symptoms became more severe than before. It reached to the point of affecting my life and who I was. I finally went to the doctor and was given a prescription specifically for women who suffer from PMDD. I don’t know about other people, but I HATE taking medication. I started taking my medication everyday and to be honest my days have been less of a struggle. This is a good thing.
And the week goes on…….
All week my daughter was sick with an earache and it was very hard for me because I was unable to take any time off to care for her. I have the best parents a girl could ask for because they were able to watch her while i was at work and took her to the doctor( another struggle I’ll get to). Let me just add that my parents lives 30-40 minutes away. I didn’t see my daughter all week and that was a struggle in itself. As a mother I was hard on myself because I couldn’t be there for her and I felt like I didn’t have any time to take care of the things I needed to because I was working close to 9 hour days. Her insurance recently changed and her doctor didn’t accept her insurance so I had to find the time to call and get her assigned to another doctor , luckily I found a really great doctor. Friday finally came and I felt a lot better knowing that I was going to have a relaxing weekend with my family. With that being said I know everything will be okay.